Friday, October 26, 2018

I just

Want to feel normal again. All of this month I've been feeling off and super sick. Thankfully in two weeks I have a doctor's appointment to get a few things checked out and hopefully some answers.

This time of waiting and not knowing is super scary and because I've been so out of it as of late, I feel like I've let people down.

I'm sure many of my friends have noticed but I've been super focused on baseball as of late, that is because it's keep me from worrying about what the Doctor is going to find or not find. Even though it's out of my control baseball has given me something I can control (I hope that makes sense)!

If you the praying type I could use some or if you are not the praying type it would be great if you could send some good vibes my way.

Lots of love to Y'all!

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

I feel

Like I'm being a friend by not asking how you are but I also feel like  I'm being a friend by letting you be and just reminding you that I'm here for you. That I love you. That you are stuck with me until the beyond the end of time.

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

31 photos

For the month on October I've been challenged to 31 B&W (no people) !



Monday, October 1, 2018

Not knowing

What do you need?

What can I do for you?

How can I help, can I do anything?

This is not to make you feel bad this is just me venting my feelings and trying not to make it all about me. It's just making sure I am doing the right thing for you. I hope that makes sense.

I hate this feeling, the feeling of feeling like I'm not doing enough for you, the feeling of being so far away from you in your time of need. The feeling of not knowing. The feeling of somehow by not doing or doing what I've been doing that I'm letting you down.

I hope you know that  I'm sending you hugs with love and prayers everyday. You are not far from my thoughts. I hope you know that you can reach out and I will be here / there. You are forever my soulmate and nothing will change that.

I hope that what I've been doing is the right thing. Hopefully if I've done something wrong or not enough you would tell me when the the time is right. I just want what is best for you and what you need.

I understand if you need space, just hope you know that I'm here for you always and forever! 






I'm here

Just know that you are loved and that I'm only a phone call away (or a plane ride) !

Friday, September 21, 2018

:(

I don't even know why I try anymore, it hurts and I'm sick and tried of being hurt by people who say they are my friends. You say you miss me and want to hang out but when I ask when and tell you that I'm free all I get back is crickets. Then when plans are made they are soon called off and never reschedule. But yet I see Y'all hanging out together without me, it hurts because I don't know what I did wrong and Y'all still say that you miss me but if you miss me as much as you say, why don't we hang out?  If you really don't miss me and don't want to hang out just tell me and I will leave you alone and it won't hurt as much because I will finally know the truth and will be able to move on!

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Someone has to make the first move

A few weeks ago one of my friends shared a meme that said something along the lines of : "was feeling guilty about the fact that I haven't reached out to my friends in While but remembered the phone works both ways, so now I don't feel guilty". My thinking is that is great and all but what if the other person is thinking the same way? That just means it's a continuous circle and no one talks anymore.

Last night I was thinking about a few friends because it seems like everyone is having a bad end of summer. So I reached out to them just to let them know that I was thinking about them. Turns out they had been missing me too, my whole point of this is " if you are missing someone reach out to them".