Sunday, January 27, 2013

But you don't look or sound sick!

I have Having chronic bronchitis,  I am the only member of my family who doesn't smoke and yet I am the only one with bad lungs, thank you second hand smoke.  I normally get 3 flairs up a year and end up having to miss 3 days of work. The rest of the year is spent trying to deal with it and spending much of my time feeling like an elephant is sitting on my chest. The thing is i don't look or sound sick (unless i am hacking up a lung), so sometimes its hard for people to understand what being sick means and why i have to spend 3 days out of work. I don't like the fact that i am sick and i hate the meds that i have to take because they make me all loopy and what  not. I am one of the lucky ones because for the most part i do have a normal life and i have a great support group in my friends and family. Its just where some people deal with a monkey on their back, i deal with an elephant on my chest. 

Friday, January 25, 2013

No Words!

Sometimes one does not have the word for how they are feeling when comes to Death. I had been following the story of this amazing boy from the UK (thanks to one of my friend) who has been battling cancer and sadly early this morning he lost the fight. The bright spot is that he is not pain free and smiling down on all his loved ones from haven. I am sad for the family's lost and that of those that loved him. It does bring back the feelings of the ones that i have lost and may the be gone that are never every forgotten. The loved ones live on in our hearts and as long as we keep the memory alive, our loved on stay alive.

Friday, January 18, 2013


i have a crazy one. I love my dads side of the family, like crazy. but i never really felt like i belonged. I am the odd one, the space cadet. no one seems to understand me or really every try. The most apparent is right now, only 2 have told me how happy they are for my wedding. The thing is i know that most are upset that we are cohabiting, but they wont come out in say it. Everyone is ooo and ahhing over my cuz wedding which i can understand why and i am so happy for her, for she has a great guy. I am looking forward to hers and seeing the rest of the family. But it hurts to know that some of my family is not that far away they did not even think to call to say Hi or visits. I know that i could call myself but  it seems like i am the one that is always making the first move and most of the time they never answer...such is life.

I am happy about the fact that froggy understands and even tries to get the things that he does not understand, i am so very lucky to have him and his family in my life. His family is so welcoming and just as fun as my moms side. froggys mom welcomed me with open arms, even after i crushed her sons heart. Froggy's family may not totally get me, but they try t understand and go along with the flow!